On Wednesday, November 22, I reflected on when I joined The Nation of Islam. The Genesis of our journey, is a constant reflection that we should take the time to understand. As Sister Saron X from the UK shared, “We must always remember our Genesis as individuals, it holds so many keys to where Allah is taking us and our purpose!”
Before coming into the knowledge of self, I was heavily involved in acting. It was my life. I was on my way towards becoming a full-time actress. It’s what I wanted and what I seen for myself in my youth, on stage sharing a message.
Now that I’ve learned more about my purpose, my journey, and what Allah (God) is preparing me for, I want to share a piece of it with you. My hope is that you reflect and see what parts of this puzzle resonate.
During my first Saviours’ Day of 2014 with the theme, “How Strong Is The Foundation; Can We Survive?”, there was a Special Documentary Presentation of The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan titled “Let’s Change the World: My Life Journey Through Music” that forever changed my life. During the documentary, he shared his love for music and how he gave up his passion to accept his assignment (those are not his words, but my way of describing some of what I took from it). I had a constant flow of tears that would not stop. I knew I was at the right place at the right time, but I did not understand The Time that we were and currently in. I was digesting what was being given to me. I couldn’t really gather my thoughts, but I was so thankful. I felt something in my being come alive and in that moment, all I wanted to do was help that man. Not necessarily the man on the screen, The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan. I wanted to help his teacher, The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad, but the reality is that I wanted to grow close to the man who helped them become who they are and are continuing to grow into, which is Allah (God), Who appeared to us in The Person of Master Fard Muhammad. In that moment though, all I could think was, “what a beautiful introduction, what a beautiful gift it is to learn about a man who has made many of sacrifices to (do more than) serve a Nation”. I silently asked, “Where have I been? Why am I just learning about The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan and The Nation of Islam”?
The documentary is not available for you to watch. However, in The Time And What Must Be Done, Part 7, The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan shares his experience of the sacrifice he made.
I know that’s a lot, but it’s important for me to share those thoughts (that experience) because it leads to dreams, seasons, and passions. If you’re interested, I ask you to take your time reading this and, as always, I ask you to reflect on your own journey.
After the Wednesday youth lecture at The Final Call, I started thinking about my love for acting and why Allah showed me the documentary upon my introduction. In that moment, I learned that it was time to put my acting on hold, in order to soak up this new beginning. Not because I am The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan. I understand that’s clearly not the case. One thing that’s for sure, I’ve always been the type of person to find connections between what’s happening now and what occurred in the past.
So, I started thinking about how Allah (God) has always put me in situations that caused me to be aberrant in search for what could be my type. I was looking for my type because amongst all of the family and people surrounding me in school, I always felt apart from them and my love for acting made me feel as if I was cultivating something in me. When I was on stage, I was able to connect with people (the cast, crew, and the audience) and those who I was portraying caused me to learn more about self. There was so much going on in my life that I didn’t understand. The scripts allowed me to wear the shoes of others and I decided to take time to understand their circumstances. It was like putting my problems on pause to dive into the dilemmas of humanity that no one wanted to speak of, but that folks wanted to be entertained with. Acting was a commitment I made. I had to give up a part of me in order to bring out what the playwright and directors wanted. The duty that I gave to be in plays affected the time that I had with family and friends. This was the first time I realized that I had to choose what was important to me, even if it meant that it would cause disappointment because I couldn’t always be in the presence of those I love.
Read the full article from this video here.
I hope you’re following. When I joined The Nation of Islam, I had plenty of people questioning my character and choices for what was about to change everything. The more I attended meetings, I started infusing what I learned into my life and realized this was all I ever had time for. I was supposed to be signing up for my next acting class, so I could start auditioning for plays and to finally be behind the camera for film productions. However, I’d began studying Student Enrollment, so that I could recite and devote my life for a cause that would require me to look at all of the (split) characters inside of self. Allah (God) was telling me that I could no longer focus on the lives of others. In fact, he said that you cannot help anyone, until you start looking at and dealing with yourself as priority. Just as I would shut everything out to learn my lines, I started learning about history and unpacking who I am.
When I gave up acting, I told Allah (God) that I’d put my dream on hold to receive what He has for me and that if He gave me the opportunity to act again, I would do so with intentional purpose. Well, I recently realized that Allah has been telling me, it’s time to utilize my gift of acting to touch the masses.
I had a dream on Wednesday. I seen this group of singers on stage and there was one who didn’t feel comfortable with the people that she was working with because it was causing her to deviate from the assignment that was set for her. Once she started singing for the right purposes, she felt alive again. So she had to carefully choose the people who were going to be in her corner, on her team, and be very selective in the projects that she would use her gift for and give her time to. When she followed instructions, her assignment became clear, but she had to go through multiple seasons (trials) to understand. However, in the end her gift impacted many and most of all she was genuinely happy and sane.
This dream does not appear to be deep. No, I did not travel or go to some high place. However, if we can begin to take lessons from “regular” dreams, then the mind can go anywhere. Start simple and stay simple as you’re revealed more.
Upon waking up, I smiled because I knew Allah (God) was using the dream to give me another sign of what time it is for my life. He gave His approval and another sign confirming what I can do for His Mission.
If I wasn’t willing to give up acting in the past, I wouldn’t have become so in love with me and continuing at the time would have only caused my acting to fall flat. I didn’t give up something that I wasn’t good at. My very first play and my last, I won an award for. Acting wasn’t just some hobby. I know I could’ve made a lot of money in the industry. However, I probably would have become a product of society, instead of a civilized person who God is shaping to be His co-creator.
Now, I have a message to share that I couldn’t have done without Supreme Wisdom. I had to realize that I must be a full-time servant of God and always put myself second to Him. In The Nation of Islam, I found “my type”. Yes, at times I have to remove myself from others, but solitude is how we were created in the womb, so oneness (time with God and self) is what we need to workout our salvation.
What dreams do you have? What season are you in? Are there some people that you need to allow to FALL back, so you can SPRING ahead? Because of the season you’re in, what do you have to sacrifice? Are you able to focus on the mission and be passionate about what assignment you have in this season? As the seasons change, no matter if you’re able to activate the gift you have in mind, will you be able to find the passion that you have, so that you’re working for the greater good? And when the weather (condition) of the season starts showing you that it’s time to pursue your dream, will you be ready to actively put your gifts to use, as the calamities come?
What’s the benefit of good deeds when done out of season? You may be passionate about something or have a gift to give, but if it’s shared at the wrong time, then it won’t serve anyone well. Therefore, we have to ground ourselves, get a Red Jasper crystal, gain control over what we’re passionate about and learn how to activate the passion at the right time because if we don’t we will harm ourselves and maybe others. We all have a role to fulfill and when we’re not being dutiful, we delay the process of a collective development.
Everyone may not understand your choices, but it’s not for them to understand. This is your journey. People may think you’re changing and they may take that in a negative way, but something that I keep in mind is: What everyone can’t see is that I am a new being, but I am the person who is blossoming into everything that I need to become.
Acting was the seed I needed to cultivate strength. The Teachings nourished me and prepared me for the garden Allah is producing.
There was a time when I devoted my life to acting, now I devote my life to live for a divine purpose.
What are you living for and doing in this season?