I Live – Poem

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What I’m going to share is not my story alone. Your story is mine, my story is yours. So I ask: as I share my experience, will you reflect on self?

*****

I am beginning to appreciate the Cycles of Life.

Allah wrote on my heart last night, I felt His presence so clearly.

He imprinted His mind on mine and I received it all in a dream.

I woke up and realized what Allah was showing me. He gifted me with The Bee to say the least. He reminded me of all of the reasons to live.

He gives me purpose when I feel as if there’s none left for me. He told me to stop asking “how” but to remember the mission and get right to work because it’s a remedy for healing illnesses. Diving into the work provides direction. I bear witness. It recharges you and gives life when it feels as if there’s nothing left. The work fuels you. Being in your presence fuels me and if I come in with my Higher Power, then I too, can fuel you.

And I desire that reciprocity, for us to be a reflection of one another. We are His children, so let’s mirror what that means.

••••

Selfless when it comes to serving God. Because although this is my life to live, my life is not mine. I am all for God. And God is love, so I’m living because interchangeable to love is to live. So I had to (re)learn how to love me again. This new found love enabled me to live again. But do you understand that I partially had to die for this rebirth to love and live again? Understand, that I say again because killing doubt, ego, fear, insecurities, and vain is an everyday process.

••••

I’ve come to realize that we are always in the womb, a stage in our development that brings forth our reality, a new chapter on our journey of life. This journey is an awakening path. And on this path I had to learn from The Minister that, “pain is the mother of creativity”, so I had to reflect on the illnesses that Allah permitted, but I caused.

••••

It was like starting over from the womb. I had to go back to a dark place, I had to put myself in a confined space. All I could hear and feel was Allah. All third parties had to be removed. It was just me and Allah. And honestly, I did not like this place or the pace in which God and I were co-existing. Everything seemed to be too slow. I was becoming impatient. My impatience led to me becoming a sick patient.

Due to my ignorance of not wanting to endure the pregnancy phase, I began to lose the critical aspects of my development because I aborted the process. The 9 stages. I need all 9 to aim towards completeness to become one with Allah, to be whole again. But my pain brought me back to life.

••••

I made a commitment to take care of self first. And stop doing the most for others. I had to arrange the line of duty in the right order.

I turned the TV off to see my reality clear. My life became crystallized and my need for crystals vanished because I was able to activate my crystals within.

But in order for me to keep them charged, I had to remember that I’m dependent, so I submitted to God. And my love for Him prepared me for the battlefield. His armor helped me confront my trials. And when I got through them, this time I wasn’t broken. Instead, I was renewed. Transformed for His cause.

••••

I have another problem. When I learn, I like to give. You see? I give as I receive. But I’m learning as I receive, I shall pause for I, for me. Just as I need to parse words, I need to parse the moment. When I’m done sharing a piece that God gave to me, I’m going to take part in a moment of solitude, which has “I” before “U” in the word solitude with lit before the u.

See I need to spark a fire in myself first, in order to be So LIT. So-lit-tude. That probably went over your heard. But basically, if I don’t see myself as light then no one else will.

So my selah moments lift me. Selah just means praise and meditation. So my Selah moments lift me. So when people say “there is no cure for that”, I tell them, don’t use that dead language around me. You + Allah is your own cure, but you gotta spark that mustard seed by putting your faith to work.

Blessed doesn’t mean that I won’t be a mess… In fact it’s because of my mess, that I am blessed. Misfortunes are my fortunes. The way you challenge me shows me my challenged self. So please encourage me when you see I’m off. And I’ll do the same for you. Cause when together, we reflect our Higher Self… Flying like the bee…

••••

Can I talk about my totem with you? The bee. The bee is my spiritual totem. A totem, is similar to a spirit animal, but on a higher plane.

According to science, bees are not supposed to be able to fly, like the Black man and woman are not supposed to rise. The wings of a bee are not supposed to be able to lift the weight of their body. Our knowledge is not supposed to be able to lift the masses of the people. But, like the bee who has its wings, we have our wings. Protect your temple. Use your crown as the wings to free yourself as the bee does.

••••

BUT in order to reach this freedom:

You gotta start over from the womb. Go back to a dark place, put yourself in a confined space. Hear and feel Allah. Remove all third parties. Just you and Allah. And honestly, you may not always like this place or the pace in which God and you coexist. Everything may seem too slow. You may become impatient, but don’t become a sick patient.

Endure the pregnancy phase. Enjoy your development. It’s a process of 9 stages. You need all 9 to aim towards completeness to become one with Allah, to be whole again.

If you nurture the trimesters, you will give birth to a god. That’s you a new god. Your pain will bring you back to life. And instead of coexisting with God, you will live with Him. Don’t just exist. Live. Understand your purpose, take care of you, so that you may heal the community.

••••

Allah wrote on my heart last night, I felt His presence so clearly.

He imprinted His mind on mine and I received it all in a dream.

I woke up and realized what Allah was showing me. I parsed my learnings in moments of solitude. And then I gave (right now) what I received to you.

I am beginning to appreciate the Cycles of Life.

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