My Journey in Islam is Transforming

Prior to joining The Nation of Islam, I voiced what I wanted for my life and I had an exhausting list of questions that were hard to find answers for. So when I attended my first lecture on Sunday, January 12, 2014, it was shocking to see and hear some of what I wanted for my life and to receive answers to questions I had for years. It only took one meeting to plant seeds in the womb of my mind and heart. No, I wasn’t sure about joining just yet, but I knew I wanted more. It was a lot to process. Could this all be too good to be true?

Following a couple of weeks, I decided to take a trip to the mosque. This time I attended my first processing M.G.T. & G.C.C., Muslim Girls in Training & General Civilization Class on Saturday, January 25, 2014 and returned to the Sunday meeting on January 26 to hear Sister Ava Muhammad. It was nice to see and hear a Black woman speak so freely on what she believed in, in such a civilized and confident way. The spirit and the manner in which she delivered the message resulted in me joining The Nation of Islam and I have not looked back since. From there, I worked hard to understand the prerequisites of The Teachings of The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad. Later that year, I became a registered member of The Nation of Islam on September 20, 2014.

After eighth grade, I was moving to a mindset that no longer wanted to be in the close company of women. There were girls who backstabbed me and I felt as if I could no longer trust women, but I knew it wasn’t best to take men as “close” friends either. I knew that there was power in women coming together, but I wasn’t sure if that was possible for my life. Being in the processing class opened my eyes to a powerful sisterhood. The way I observed the processing instructors, it made me see the beauty in women collaborating and being one united front. My work as an empowerment coach now meant so much more then just some thing I was doing. Listen to the full interview here.

So when I walked into the registered M.G.T. Class, I was very grateful for being chosen by Allah to be considered as His girl who is being refined. Not only am I becoming a better individual, I am collectively aiding in the betterment of the condition of this world. The world will not improve, until the woman is uplifted. A nation can rise no higher than its woman, so if I’m not being elevated, I understand that it’s best to remove myself from potentially detrimental situations. I am the standard. We the M.G.T. are the standard and Insha’Allah (God Willing), we will be pleasing to The Most High.

StudentBeing the standard is easy to say, but it’s not easy to grasp what this means in totality. If we are truly the standard, which we are, then this implies that there’s a lot of work that must be done. 75% of work is with the woman. As much as I can recall, the woman has always been on the frontline working, alongside the man and without the man. Being the Second Self of Allah (God), we make no excuses. We work even when we’re tired and through the pain. This work requires an ongoing study. Can a woman who does not study say that she is fulfilling God’s Will? I know an M.G.T. cannot. In the very title is a reminder that we must train and be in class. So to be an M.G.T., we must humble ourselves to always be a student. I am always thankful to say and show that I am a student of The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad under the divine guidance of The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan.

I am thankful to The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan for standing firm in his Islam and in The Mission to resurrect the dead. Had it not been for The Minister, I would not know about The Nation of Islam or our true history that is not shared in this world’s educational system. Most of all, The Minister has helped me embrace who I am, all of me, the duality of me that most could not stand to receive a glimpse of. One of the many of gifts that he’s given is Self-Improvement: The Basis for Community Development study guides, which has been a tremendous aid. Throughout his stand as the representative of his teacher, The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad, he has reminded us of the importance of resurrection (killing the devil and raising the god within). No matter how much I tried to improve myself elsewhere, I was also searching for more because I was never feeding from The Source. It is The Teachings that have allowed me to continue becoming who I am supposed to be. I can never thank this beautiful man, who has sacrificed himself for humanity. Referring to him as a humble man is the least.

As my personal testimony, I must share that The Minister’s profound statement, “Pain is the mother of creativity” is one that has helped me most. Accepting Allah (God) and declaring to Him that I want to serve in The Mission of raising the dead is not easy, especially when the first dead that has to rise is you. And then after you’ve been raised, while you’re bringing more home, there is always more work to be done with the person in the mirror. Raising the dead in us is an ongoing task. It’s one that I don’t want to stop and wouldn’t have the option to opt-out of, if I wanted. As I’m continuing to learn that self-improvement is painful, I’m also learning that it’s purifying. Trials are purifying and just as painful as it is to become one with Allah, it’s just as ugly to look at others in their pain sometimes. I’m not sorry for saying that. I’m keeping it real. We can all be some ugly people. I’m learning that just as ugly as I can be in my healing process, others around me are just as ugly. This understanding is helping me be more forgiving to myself and anyone that has possibly caused me an ounce of pain. The reality is that we cause pain on ourselves more than we like to point the finger. People are not perfect and this includes the people who follow Allah (God). Islam is perfect though. Islam is the be all. Look at the word, “ISlam”. It’s like BElam. Okay, I’m corny, but I hope you see the point I’m making.

Overall in life, which Islam is a way of life, we are constantly being tried because everyday there is a test to pass/past (excel in and move forward). I used to hate test, especially pop quizzes. Now, my goal is to take the test and take my time through it. I’m in no rush. I am in the class of God and I have a lot to learn about Him and myself. Instead of asking “why me” or “why this test required”, I am thanking Allah that He still sees me as worthy and I am continuing to purify my heart, so that my mind can be prepared and so that my actions align with my mental and spiritual being. My Islam is transforming and I understand that this is an ongoing process for me and those surrounding me, so I’m covered with Allah’s armor, so that I can put forth my all.

Allah’s love for His girl, Sister Terrika Muhammad

I am a “Nation Baby” so I was raised in the Nation, but I did still choose Islam for myself. Because we are a curious people with free will, we all have that period of time where we wander from the religious beliefs that we were raised knowing. That lasted approximately six months for me. I realized quickly that I belong in The Nation.

img_0241-2I started hanging with my college friends, you know, living the “college life” and Allah (God) always showed me that I didn’t belong. I had a death experience at least twice. One, an associate was under the influence, and almost drove us off the road. The people around me all thought this situation was funny, but I knew, Allah’s goal was to snatch me back in. I was even put on probation from college being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Thankfully, I completed secondary education with a Bachelors of Science and am currently in the field of technology in accordance with my studies. Then, I was completely oblivious to where I was in that moment. The song that I relate to, that literally had me in tears was Crawl by Chris Brown. I had to crawl my way back to The Nation, to Allah. Quickly!

He gave the human being something that He never gave any of His creatures. He gave us the free will to choose and then He offers us the right way. But He lets us choose if we wish to follow His Way.
– The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan, A Prescription for Humanity (article)

The Nation of Islam set me apart from the people I was around in public. I was taught things that the world could never teach me. I was taught that cleanliness was next to godliness and that I could literally become God! I am the Second Self of God. What an honor that is! If all women knew that, we would carry ourselves better and move like we were on top on the world. Because we literally are. We build nations. I wouldn’t have learned these things had it not been for Master Fard Muhammad, The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad and The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan. I love them for their sacrifice and for saving my life.

The Nation of Islam showed me how special I was from a young age and helped me to see my true value. Being an M.G.T., Muslim Girl in Training gives me that okay to still be a little girl in Allah’s eyes, while still evolving to be the best woman that I can be. One who is always willing to learn more from God and His servants.

Matthew 18:3 “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.

God’s servant in our midst, The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan has given me life! I think life should include fulfillment, purpose, honor, humbleness. Minister Louis Farrakhan has taught me how to achieve all of that, plus more! I have a life with untapped value that I am still learning how to discover from The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan.

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As I’m continuing to discover my value, I see the importance of dressing modest, which brings up a challenge that comes with being a Muslimah: what do I wear?! Especially in the summer. Almost every store wants for you to conform and show some kind of skin! I am overcoming it by getting my own clothes made. Sometimes we have to go the extra mile for things we love. My Islam is love.

Sister Zakiyyah Maryam’s Islam is Resilient

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I am Zakiyyah Maryam and was born and raised in Memphis, Tennessee in the Nation of Islam. My family’s journey to Islam began with my Great-Grandmother, Willie (May Allah Be Pleased with her). She had to pick cotton when she was growing up. She was a sharecropper and that injustice system that kept black people in an economically insufficient condition also kept them away from formal education, which my great-grandmother did not have.When she was allowed to move away from sharecropping, she then began teaching herself how to read and became an avid reader. It was also the truth in the Teachings of the Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad, which is Freedom, Justice, Equality (Islam).

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The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad

The truth that the Black man is The Maker, The Owner, Cream of The Planet Earth, God of The Universe. The truth that the Black woman is the mother of civilization. The truth that Allah (God) came in the Person of Master W.D. Fard Muhammad and that The Messiah or Mahdi has come and would judge this world — in particular America based on her mistreatment of the so-called Negroes of North America and the members of the Original family (Native Americans/so-called Latinos, Asians, and our brothers and sisters in Africa).

This is The Teaching that uplifted my great-grandmother’s spirit and she began introducing her children to The Teachings of Islam through the Honorable Elijah Muhammad. Though my great-grandmother did not register as a Muslim in the NOI (Nation of Islam), my grandmother did and the rest is history. But on my own personal sojourn in Islam, I was soul searching and I was at a point in my life where I needed to find inner strength and inner peace and I discovered that in studying The Holy Qur’an as well as The Teachings. I was about 14 years old when I actually became personally invested in Islam and I decided that I wanted to officially re-register when I was 18-years-old making me officially a part of the M.G.T & G.C.C, Muslim Girl Training & General Civilization Class.

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Personally to be an M.G.T. is to be a sister, a righteous woman. A Muslim Girl in Training is not just a look. An M.G.T. is a righteous woman. Righteousness is the essence of our being. We are taught in the NOI that the woman is the second self of God. She is divine and sacred in her nature. Our seven training units brought to us by Master W.D. Fard were to lay the base of the cultivation of our righteous nature and to one day be the leading example for women all around the world. But I think, we must start by looking at our sisters, whether are Muslims or not, as truly our sisters and see the divineness in each other, just as the head of the class, The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan teaches.

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The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan has influenced me and the world in many ways, with the Help of Allah. One principle that the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan has taught me is to challenge your fear. He has shown that throughout over his 60 years of service in the Nation of Islam and in rebuilding the Nation of Islam for 40 years absent his teacher, The Honorable Elijah Muhammad. The Minister has travailed through the opposition of the enemy, the powers that be, and other obstacles to complete the promise of Allah (God), which is to break our people free from the shackles of the enemy. The Minister discovered his purpose and I think when you know and understand your purpose in life that you are able to challenge your fear against the greatest of opposition because you have a firm ground of certainty of what it is that you must fulfill. This is not to say that challenging your fears is an easy feat, but it is possible.

According to the dictionary, “fear” is a distressing emotion aroused by impending pain, danger, evil, whether that pain, danger or evil is real, or imagined. If you become afraid even of some imaginary thing that has not yet happened, the distressing emotion will still be present. “Fear” is the feeling, or the condition of being afraid.
Fear restricts: Whatever we are afraid of, that which we fear makes us insecure; and whatever makes us afraid and insecure could cause us to bow. When we are afraid, fear causes us not to think properly. Fear causes us not to act properly. Fear makes you so insecure that you have a tendency to acquiesce, to submit, to surrender to the thing that you’re afraid of. And if you acquiesce, submit and surrender to what you are afraid of, then it becomes a god to you beside God!
– The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan, Fear, Faith, and Truth (article, lecture)

My current challenge as a Muslimah is attending a college campus with a Muslim population that is not only small but disconnected with the Muslim community outside of campus. Part of that challenge is the fact since Muslims have attended my university, there has not been a connection with the Muslim community outside of campus and that also impacts us individually, as well as how we see each other. It’s getting better now and I think the political climate is forcing us to understand that we do have to grow out of our little shells and embrace each other. I think for me it’s just been hard being the only Black muslim female student on campus and feeling in between of standing out but also feeling isolated. It was also hard because I was just beginning to join the NOI when I started college. But I think through prayer, patience and just being honest about my experience helped me overcome and also knowing I only have two months left, until graduation so I won’t feel this burden much longer.

It started with my great-grandmother who was planted with a love for Islam, so much that the love transpired and lives through my family. I am grateful for her being an example of what it means to be a mother of civilization and for her love to transcend and have such an impact generations later. I am thankful for everything she endured. She has taught me that Islam is Resilience. And resilient, I will be.

Sister Sharanda Died Three Times to Live

Prior to joining The Nation of Islam, I’d been having visions into future experiences. I am and always am destined to be spiritually inclined. I believed in a higher being or divinity, however I believe in The All. As a spiritual teacher, Jesus left principles that are worth adhering to. I understand when they ask Jesus how do you pray, he answered you pray unto the father. I pray only to The Creator, my sustenance comes through The All.

You are not taught to pray to be heard by Moses and other prophets, not even Elijah whom they say went to Heaven whole soul and body. If Elijah cannot hear a prayer and he was not killed as Jesus was, then how can Jesus hear a prayer? We must not pray to dead prophets. They can’t hear our prayers.
The Muslim loves all of Allah’s prophets, but we will not pray for life to come to us from a dead prophet; not even to Muhammad who lived nearly 1,400 years ago. We pray in the name of Allah and mention the name of His last prophet in our prayer as an honor and thanks to Allah for His last guide to us.
– The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad, Day of Resurrection of Dead So-Called Negroes Has Arrived (Reprint from Our Saviour Has Arrived)

The vision before I accepted was of my death 3 times. Did I die? In the last one, I cried out to Jesus and in the vision I said no “Allah”. I awoke confused of this vision, but it brought about an intense craving to read and learn. Thus, for months I did nothing but read all of the books I could find. I did not sleep – my family a woke and slept and each time they found me reading.

“When he is [you are] taught the spirit of truth, He will guide you into all truth.”
– The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan, The Crucifixion of Jesus

Next, I went through tremors and shaking when something moved me to my core, as confirmation that I was receiving truth. To say this is Divine intervention is correct. So much synchronicity happened in my life; it initially started when I came to America. I was meant to be here – Destiny would have it no other way.

The power of thought, as manifested through the Law of Synchronicity and The Theology of Time, projects all things coming to pass in the appropriate moment and place.
– Mother Tynetta Muhammad, A Picture is Worth a Thousands Words (article)

An MGT in The Nation of Islam is a woman knowing and accepting that all possibilities are open for me, I can accomplish what I will. That I am my own ruler. I design my fate according to my actions and deeds and first and foremost to do no harm. It means to me that I have accepted peace from within myself, from Allah no force can break. It means to me that the oneness of Allah is all I need.

Allah is sufficient for me—there is no God but He. On Him do I rely, and He is the Lord of the mighty Throne. (Holy Qur’an 9:128-129)

Being in The Nation of Islam, I am blessed to say I have not come across many challenges. My family at first questioned why, but let it go, because of love and tolerance for each other. Friends have not questioned my faith. One went as far as saying, I knew your spiritual path would take you where you wanted to be. She said and I quote:

“You are an all or nothing type of person.”

I may have died three times in a vision, but it saved me. Islam is Life.


Interested in knowing some of the books I read during this time:

  • At the beginning, I was guided to Psalm and completed this Book in The Bible.
  • I read Hermès Trice The Great twice
  • Dare to Believe by Mary Rowland
  • The Secret of Freemasonry by Elijah Muhammad
  • The Secret to Perfect Living by James Mangan
  • The Holy Qur’an
  • Study Guide 19: by The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan
  • The God Tribe of Shabazz
  • The Genesis Years (unpublished and rare writing)
  • The Motherplane by The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad
  • The Book of Enoch
  • Books on Aristotle, Plato, and Osho

Muslim Women’s Day: Sisters in The Nation of Islam

ProfessionallyI’m in marketing and was offended when a story in the pipeline for Muslim Women’s Day got delayed because “it’s not a widely-known holiday”. Because I’m taught to rise above emotions into the thinking of God, I realized that it is my responsibility to spread the Good News and represent as a Muslim woman. I don’t need to wait on anyone or expect anyone else to do the work. I will say, I am happy my job will share a story on a Muslim woman. It’s just that comment was an ouch that I turned into an opportunity.

Documented Journey covered eight stories of eight beautiful sisters who are embracing their Islam. Sit back in your chair and join us on our journeys.

* My Journey in Islam is TransformingSister Zakiyyah Maryam’s Islam is ResilientAllah’s love for His girl, Sister Terrika MuhammadI Am Covered Through TrialsSister Fatimah: The RevolutionaryWearing a garment is naturally beautifulSister Sharanda Died Three Times to LiveWho and what is your reflection?


Thank you for visiting Documented Journey.

I Live – Poem

What I’m going to share is not my story alone. Your story is mine, my story is yours. So I ask: as I share my experience, will you reflect on self?


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I am beginning to appreciate the Cycles of Life.

Allah wrote on my heart last night, I felt His presence so clearly.

He imprinted His mind on mine and I received it all in a dream.

I woke up and realized what Allah was showing me. He gifted me with The Bee to say the least. He reminded me of all of the reasons to live.

He gives me purpose when I feel as if there’s none left for me. He told me to stop asking “how” but to remember the mission and get right to work because it’s a remedy for healing illnesses. Diving into the work provides direction. I bear witness. It recharges you and gives life when it feels as if there’s nothing left. The work fuels you. Being in your presence fuels me and if I come in with my Higher Power, then I too, can fuel you.

And I desire that reciprocity, for us to be a reflection of one another. We are His children, so let’s mirror what that means.

••••

Selfless when it comes to serving God. Because although this is my life to live, my life is not mine. I am all for God. And God is love, so I’m living because interchangeable to love is to live. So I had to (re)learn how to love me again. This new found love enabled me to live again. But do you understand that I partially had to die for this rebirth to love and live again? Understand, that I say again because killing doubt, ego, fear, insecurities, and vain is an everyday process.

••••

I’ve come to realize that we are always in the womb, a stage in our development that brings forth our reality, a new chapter on our journey of life. This journey is an awakening path. And on this path I had to learn from The Minister that, “pain is the mother of creativity”, so I had to reflect on the illnesses that Allah permitted, but I caused.

••••

It was like starting over from the womb. I had to go back to a dark place, I had to put myself in a confined space. All I could hear and feel was Allah. All third parties had to be removed. It was just me and Allah. And honestly, I did not like this place or the pace in which God and I were co-existing. Everything seemed to be too slow. I was becoming impatient. My impatience led to me becoming a sick patient.

Due to my ignorance of not wanting to endure the pregnancy phase, I began to lose the critical aspects of my development because I aborted the process. The 9 stages. I need all 9 to aim towards completeness to become one with Allah, to be whole again. But my pain brought me back to life.

••••

I made a commitment to take care of self first. And stop doing the most for others. I had to arrange the line of duty in the right order.

I turned the TV off to see my reality clear. My life became crystallized and my need for crystals vanished because I was able to activate my crystals within.

But in order for me to keep them charged, I had to remember that I’m dependent, so I submitted to God. And my love for Him prepared me for the battlefield. His armor helped me confront my trials. And when I got through them, this time I wasn’t broken. Instead, I was renewed. Transformed for His cause.

••••

I have another problem. When I learn, I like to give. You see? I give as I receive. But I’m learning as I receive, I shall pause for I, for me. Just as I need to parse words, I need to parse the moment. When I’m done sharing a piece that God gave to me, I’m going to take part in a moment of solitude, which has “I” before “U” in the word solitude with lit before the u.

See I need to spark a fire in myself first, in order to be So LIT. So-lit-tude. That probably went over your heard. But basically, if I don’t see myself as light then no one else will.

So my selah moments lift me. Selah just means praise and meditation. So my Selah moments lift me. So when people say “there is no cure for that”, I tell them, don’t use that dead language around me. You + Allah is your own cure, but you gotta spark that mustard seed by putting your faith to work.

Blessed doesn’t mean that I won’t be a mess… In fact it’s because of my mess, that I am blessed. Misfortunes are my fortunes. The way you challenge me shows me my challenged self. So please encourage me when you see I’m off. And I’ll do the same for you. Cause when together, we reflect our Higher Self… Flying like the bee…

••••

Can I talk about my totem with you? The bee. The bee is my spiritual totem. A totem, is similar to a spirit animal, but on a higher plane.

According to science, bees are not supposed to be able to fly, like the Black man and woman are not supposed to rise. The wings of a bee are not supposed to be able to lift the weight of their body. Our knowledge is not supposed to be able to lift the masses of the people. But, like the bee who has its wings, we have our wings. Protect your temple. Use your crown as the wings to free yourself as the bee does.

••••

BUT in order to reach this freedom:

You gotta start over from the womb. Go back to a dark place, put yourself in a confined space. Hear and feel Allah. Remove all third parties. Just you and Allah. And honestly, you may not always like this place or the pace in which God and you coexist. Everything may seem too slow. You may become impatient, but don’t become a sick patient.

Endure the pregnancy phase. Enjoy your development. It’s a process of 9 stages. You need all 9 to aim towards completeness to become one with Allah, to be whole again.

If you nurture the trimesters, you will give birth to a god. That’s you a new god. Your pain will bring you back to life. And instead of coexisting with God, you will live with Him. Don’t just exist. Live. Understand your purpose, take care of you, so that you may heal the community.

••••

Allah wrote on my heart last night, I felt His presence so clearly.

He imprinted His mind on mine and I received it all in a dream.

I woke up and realized what Allah was showing me. I parsed my learnings in moments of solitude. And then I gave (right now) what I received to you.

I am beginning to appreciate the Cycles of Life.


Follow your dreams by the season, not by your passion.

On Wednesday, November 22, I reflected on when I joined The Nation of Islam. The Genesis of our journey, is a constant reflection that we should take the time to understand. As Sister Saron X from the UK shared, “We must always remember our Genesis as individuals, it holds so many keys to where Allah is taking us and our purpose!”

Before coming into the knowledge of self, I was heavily involved in acting. It was my life. I was on my way towards becoming a full-time actress. It’s what I wanted and what I seen for myself in my youth, on stage sharing a message.

Now that I’ve learned more about my purpose, my journey, and what Allah (God) is preparing me for, I want to share a piece of it with you. My hope is that you reflect and see what parts of this puzzle resonate.

The CharmerDuring my first Saviours’ Day of 2014 with the theme, “How Strong Is The Foundation; Can We Survive?”, there was a Special Documentary Presentation of The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan titled “Let’s Change the World: My Life Journey Through Music” that forever changed my life. During the documentary, he shared his love for music and how he gave up his passion to accept his assignment (those are not his words, but my way of describing some of what I took from it). I had a constant flow of tears that would not stop. I knew I was at the right place at the right time, but I did not understand The Time that we were and currently in. I was digesting what was being given to me. I couldn’t really gather my thoughts, but I was so thankful. I felt something in my being come alive and in that moment, all I wanted to do was help that man. Not necessarily the man on the screen, The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan. I wanted to help his teacher, The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad, but the reality is that I wanted to grow close to the man who helped them become who they are and are continuing to grow into, which is Allah (God), Who appeared to us in The Person of Master Fard Muhammad. In that moment though, all I could think was, “what a beautiful introduction, what a beautiful gift it is to learn about a man who has made many of sacrifices to (do more than) serve a Nation”. I silently asked, “Where have I been? Why am I just learning about The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan and The Nation of Islam”?

The documentary is not available for you to watch. However, in The Time And What Must Be Done, Part 7, The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan shares his experience of the sacrifice he made.

I know that’s a lot, but it’s important for me to share those thoughts (that experience) because it leads to dreams, seasons, and passions. If you’re interested, I ask you to take your time reading this and, as always, I ask you to reflect on your own journey.

After the Wednesday youth lecture at The Final Call, I started thinking about my love for acting and why Allah showed me the documentary upon my introduction. In that moment, I learned that it was time to put my acting on hold, in order to soak up this new beginning. Not because I am The Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan. I understand that’s clearly not the case. One thing that’s for sure, I’ve always been the type of person to find connections between what’s happening now and what occurred in the past.

 

So, I started thinking about how Allah (God) has always put me in situations that caused me to be aberrant in search for what could be my type. I was looking for my type because amongst all of the family and people surrounding me in school, I always felt apart from them and my love for acting made me feel as if I was cultivating something in me. When I was on stage, I was able to connect with people (the cast, crew, and the audience) and those who I was portraying caused me to learn more about self. There was so much going on in my life that I didn’t understand. The scripts allowed me to wear the shoes of others and I decided to take time to understand their circumstances. It was like putting my problems on pause to dive into the dilemmas of humanity that no one wanted to speak of, but that folks wanted to be entertained with. Acting was a commitment I made. I had to give up a part of me in order to bring out what the playwright and directors wanted. The duty that I gave to be in plays affected the time that I had with family and friends. This was the first time I realized that I had to choose what was important to me, even if it meant that it would cause disappointment because I couldn’t always be in the presence of those I love.

Read the full article from this video here.

I hope you’re following. When I joined The Nation of Islam, I had plenty of people questioning my character and choices for what was about to change everything. The more I attended meetings, I started infusing what I learned into my life and realized this was all I ever had time for. I was supposed to be signing up for my next acting class, so I could start auditioning for plays and to finally be behind the camera for film productions. However, I’d began studying Student Enrollment, so that I could recite and devote my life for a cause that would require me to look at all of the (split) characters inside of self. Allah (God) was telling me that I could no longer focus on the lives of others. In fact, he said that you cannot help anyone, until you start looking at and dealing with yourself as priority. Just as I would shut everything out to learn my lines, I started learning about history and unpacking who I am.

When I gave up acting, I told Allah (God) that I’d put my dream on hold to receive what He has for me and that if He gave me the opportunity to act again, I would do so with intentional purpose. Well, I recently realized that Allah has been telling me, it’s time to utilize my gift of acting to touch the masses.

I had a dream on Wednesday. I seen this group of singers on stage and there was one who didn’t feel comfortable with the people that she was working with because it was causing her to deviate from the assignment that was set for her. Once she started singing for the right purposes, she felt alive again. So she had to carefully choose the people who were going to be in her corner, on her team, and be very selective in the projects that she would use her gift for and give her time to. When she followed instructions, her assignment became clear, but she had to go through multiple seasons (trials) to understand. However, in the end her gift impacted many and most of all she was genuinely happy and sane.

This dream does not appear to be deep. No, I did not travel or go to some high place. However, if we can begin to take lessons from “regular” dreams, then the mind can go anywhere. Start simple and stay simple as you’re revealed more.

Upon waking up, I smiled because I knew Allah (God) was using the dream to give me another sign of what time it is for my life. He gave His approval and another sign confirming what I can do for His Mission.

If I wasn’t willing to give up acting in the past, I wouldn’t have become so in love with me and continuing at the time would have only caused my acting to fall flat. I didn’t give up something that I wasn’t good at. My very first play and my last, I won an award for. Acting wasn’t just some hobby. I know I could’ve made a lot of money in the industry. However, I probably would have become a product of society, instead of a civilized person who God is shaping to be His co-creator.

Now, I have a message to share that I couldn’t have done without Supreme Wisdom. I had to realize that I must be a full-time servant of God and always put myself second to Him. In The Nation of Islam, I found “my type”. Yes, at times I have to remove myself from others, but solitude is how we were created in the womb, so oneness (time with God and self) is what we need to workout our salvation.

What dreams do you have? What season are you in? Are there some people that you need to allow to FALL back, so you can SPRING ahead? Because of the season you’re in, what do you have to sacrifice? Are you able to focus on the mission and be passionate about what assignment you have in this season? As the seasons change, no matter if you’re able to activate the gift you have in mind, will you be able to find the passion that you have, so that you’re working for the greater good? And when the weather (condition) of the season starts showing you that it’s time to pursue your dream, will you be ready to actively put your gifts to use, as the calamities come?

What’s the benefit of good deeds when done out of season? You may be passionate about something or have a gift to give, but if it’s shared at the wrong time, then it won’t serve anyone well. Therefore, we have to ground ourselves, get a Red Jasper crystal, gain control over what we’re passionate about and learn how to activate the passion at the right time because if we don’t we will harm ourselves and maybe others. We all have a role to fulfill and when we’re not being dutiful, we delay the process of a collective development.

Everyone may not understand your choices, but it’s not for them to understand. This is your journey. People may think you’re changing and they may take that in a negative way, but something that I keep in mind is: What everyone can’t see is that I am a new being, but I am the person who is blossoming into everything that I need to become.

Acting was the seed I needed to cultivate strength. The Teachings nourished me and prepared me for the garden Allah is producing. 

There was a time when I devoted my life to acting, now I devote my life to live for a divine purpose.

What are you living for and doing in this season?

My Second Degree Burn Testimony & Spiritual Burnout Story

If someone was to burn you would you thank them? Can you see the beauty in your injury/scars?

In the video you’ll hear me refer to the burn as third degree, but after reviewing the pictures, I think it was a second degree burn. Nevertheless, the experience still counts.

Watch the video to hear how the burn has changed my life:

I Love Me: a checklist for loving self

When is the last time you said “I love you”?

Not to anyone else. When was the last time you said ‘I love me’?

What have you done to show your love for self today?

We’re going to go through a series of questions and I want you to reflect on the answers. I mean really take some time to study you! Take some time to watch the video for specifics.

  • How are you caring for yourself today?
  • Have you looked at yourself like you look at your crush?
  • Did you really look at yourself in the mirror today?
  • Did you lotion yourself today?
  • Did you take some time to condition your hair? Yes, brother you too!
  • Did you clean your space?
  • What did you feed yourself today?
  • How are you healing yourself?
  • Did you right a wrong?
  • How are you putting yourself first?
  • How are you fighting for you?
  • How are you advocating for you?
  • What are you going to work on today to make progress towards a goal?
  • Do you have a bulletin with your vision boards on there?
  • Did you pray today?
  • Did you have a moment of solitude? A moment of silence? A moment with only you and God? Your Higher Power?
  • Did you you place your hand over your heart to understand your pace today?
  • Did you affirm yourself?
  • Did you smile?
  • Did you hug yourself today?

Questions specifically for sisters

  • When’s the last time you admired your natural hair? 
    • Brothers, did you rub that bald head of yours? I’m serious, rub your fade. Your fro. Those locks. Rub your hair, Rub your fingers through those locs, whatever you got.
  • Did you do your hair, even if it’s covered?
  • When’s the last time you wore zero make-up and looked at yourself like oh my god!
  • Have you talked to your womb today? Pregnant or not?

There are so many other questions that can be added. This is just a start. Watch the video for reflections. 


Honestly, I enjoyed recording this video because we are so far from loving ourselves. I hope and pray we get back to internal peace and love.

B.Good: Boston Foodie! Did you say eggplant meatballs?

Looking for interesting vegetarian food in Boston? B.Good may be the best for your buds.

While in Boston, I was looking for vegetarian options that would make me want to take their menu home.

I came across B.Good and it definitely did me more than good. I ordered the spaghetti “meat” balls that consisted of zucchini noodles and eggplant as “meat” balls.
I am someone who does not like eating eggplant in restaurants, but the restaurant version tasted homemade. Of course, this wasn’t an easy decision. After spotting this on the menu, I asked the host if I could have a sample of the meatballs. He said yes! Otherwise, they would’ve lost a customer.

I couldn’t just try the food; I needed some filling dessert. They even have smoothies! I purchased the seasonal special: local blueberries.

Although I happen to like everything that’s in this flavor, I honestly went with this as the choice because it had dates. Dates win over everything! If you’re not aware dates are high in fiber and potassium.

Well they got me! Because now I’m going to add eggplant as a menu item in my kitchen, along with tossing dates in the blender.

There are other eye-appealing options that I did not get to explore since I had a short trip. I encourage you to try them and let us know what you think.

Nevertheless B.Good.